FuNny MonDaY... The Butcher

A woman walks into the butcher shop just before closing. She says, "Thank Heavens I've made it in time! Have you any turkey?" The butcher opens his fridge and takes out his only turkey, and plops it onto the scale. It weighs 4 1/2 pounds.

"Ah, haven't you anything bigger?" the woman inquires. The butcher returns the turkey to the fridge, takes it out again, and plops it onto the scale, only this time, he keeps his thumb on the turkey. The scale shows 7 1/4 pounds.

"Marvelous!" says the woman. "I'll have both of them please."

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Funny Monday...A Miserable Cold

A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable cold. His doctor prescribed some pills, but they didn't help.

On his next visit the doctor gave him a shot, but that didn't do any good.

On his third visit the doctor told the man, "Go home and take a hot bath. As soon as you finish bathing throw open all the windows and stand in the draft."

"But doc," protested the patient, "if I do that, I'll get pneumonia."

"I know," said the doctor, "I can cure pneumonia."

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Funny Monday, I Broke the Accident Case

The lawyer's son wanted to follow in his father's footsteps, so he went to law school. He graduated with honors, and then went home to join his father's firm. At the end of his first day at work he rushed into his father's office, and said, "Father, father, in one day I broke the accident case that you've been working on for ten years!"

His father responded: "You idiot, we could live on the funding of that case for another ten years!"

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FunnY MonDaY, someTimes when YOU CRY

Sometimes...

when you cry....

no one sees your tears..

Sometimes...

when you are in pain.

no one sees you're hurt.

Sometimes..

when you are worried...

no one sees your stress

Sometimes..

when you are happy..

no one sees  your smile ..

But FART just ONE time....

And  everybody knows!!

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FuNnY MonDaY... CHaRmed WiFe

Charmed Wife

Her husband is in coma for several months yet she stays by his bedside every single day. One day he wakes up and told his wife. "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business fell, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. When I think about it now. ....I think you bring me bad luck!" 

WHAT CAN YOU SAY GIRLS?

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